War got you down ? Do your part to promote peace !!

Top 10 Reasons to Masturbate for Peace

10. It's too cold to go outside and demonstrate
9. If I go blind they can't draft me
8. The walls need painting white anyway
7. This is my weapon...this is my gun...this one's for shootin....oh, never mind.
6. If you want it done right you have to do it yourself
5. All the lube will give me a baby-soft dork
4. It may be the only "peace" I'll be getting for a while
3. If I use my left hand, it feels like someone else has joined my cause
2. What else am I going to do with the 80 GB of porn on my PC?
1. Because I can't give myself a peace blowjob

M.F.P Protest Slogans

Hairy palms, not cluster bombs
War's not kind, beat yourself blind
Cream your khakis, not Iraqis.
Peace is spiffy, stroke your stiffy
Don't send the fleet, just beat your meat
War is shit, rub your clit
Side with France, reach down your pants
Peace is the issue. Use a tissue.
War is Crappy, Slap Your Pappy
War's for squares, play downstairs
Stop war now, milk your cow
When you jerk tonight, keep peace in sight.
Down with war, stroke some more
War is cruel - flog your mule
Get peace fever, rub your beaver!
War is heinous, thumb your anus
You Can't Beat Off with Nuclear Arms
War is Mean, Flick Your Bean
War is wrong, whack your schlong.
I'm going blind for Mankind
War is silly, whack your willy
Think globally, whack locally
(Don't smitten, kill a kitten.)

Happy Protesting !!