Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My Favorite Pastime !!!!
I just wanted to take a moment and pay homage to one of life's simple little pleasures that brings me such joy and if done correctly the joy can be shared easily with a friend ! Not only that, its free.
How to Eat Pussy*or Everything You Need to Know About Cunnilingus But You Were Too Busy Picking the Hairs Out of Your Teeth to Ask
Eating pussy can be one of the most wonderful things you can do for a woman (or so I read on the cover of Cosmo). It makes her feel appreciated, respected, desirable, and has the potential to give her an orgasm that will shatter glass, raise the dead, even wake you in the next room. Besides, lots of women expect it these days, and men who perform great oral sex are always in demand. If you gain a reputation as an expert, many classy, attractive women, way out of your league, may overlook your other shortcomings. Just kidding, but it gives us an excuse to talk more about vaginas.
The vagina is a mystery to most men. It's hidden away. Taken out only for special occasions and then quickly put back into hiding. Like an english muffin, its full of nooks and crannies and tastes best slathered in melted butter. For something so complex you'd think there would be instructions, or a map, or a help icon. How many times have you planted your face at heaven's door and said to yourself, "Man, it sure would be nice if just once she told me what she liked? Should I feel free to move about the cabin or should I keep my seatbelt securely fastened and concentrate on her love button? Should I move up and down? Back and forth? In little circles? Dive in deep or doggy paddle on the surface? To finger or not?"

Men have no problem telling women what they like, "Oh yeah! That's it! Oops, sorry baby. It's OK, it's protein." There is no mystery about a penis. It stands out in the open. Proud. Happy to be out in the breeze. No matter how small or unimpressive, every penis acts as if it's a Great Dane, the Washington Monument, or a mighty Sequoia. A penis is so simple in comparison to a vagina that I can explain everything you need to know about performing oral sex on a penis using a standard fire hydrant.

It's all good!!!

8 Comments:

Blogger Blackpetunia said...

Wow, just wow.
So, so far your blog has been much like a travel guide, and actually this post is not really an exception. I love the fire hydrant analogy. I don't read Cosmo, but at least they're getting better if they're talking about that instead of "How to Please your Man" or "How to act like the hooker he's always wanted".

7:47 AM  
Blogger Denny said...

may seem a bit vulgar i suppose but i guess after one has a few drinks, one tends be a bit more open about whats on their mind.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

The vagina diagram looks like it would be very informative.

8:00 AM  
Blogger locomocos said...

i don't think even i could understand that map! but i do agree....it's an interesting place to get lost in!

1:35 PM  
Blogger locomocos said...

not that i would know.....

that came out all wrong...

1:35 PM  
Blogger locomocos said...

and that's not what i meant when i said coming out!!!!!!!!!!

1:36 PM  
Blogger Denny said...

ha! actually im going to let that one slide. Ladies thats my point, the map is complicated. Be kind to your man, guide him, show him the way !

9:09 PM  
Blogger Denny said...

i concur sir

8:28 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home